Let's Dance

In yoga we are encouraged to quite our minds and stay present in the moment.  Tonight my mind was running through a laundry list of things, some accomplished and others not yet.  Inevitably, (even before the initial breathing), I was thinking about what to write about.   
"Let your thoughts be just that, let them go, come back, be present."
That is when I decided to write about my dreaded moment (and minute to follow) in bikram yoga.  
Thirty minutes in...sixty to go.  

So far my mind says...

breath in,            breath in,                breath in 

(six seconds) 

You can do it, no let it go, no hold it you can do it. No I can't. Don't say you can't, you can do it. Okay hold it, hold it,                        release.

breath out,            breath out,                breath out

(six seconds) 

 So far instructor says...

"Lock your knee, hips level, tack that hip down, breath breath breath, 

half-way. Looking good, one last breath at the top 

and                        release."

And then the dreaded words.

"Okay, let's dance."

Crap, I HATE this one.  Left arm up, right arm out, release the shoulder grab ankle.  Arch back and kick up.  KICK UP KICK UP.  Lean forward, engage the left leg, lock the knee.

Ugh. If I just pop up my hip a little bit.....

NO CHEATING!

Tack the hip down, tack it down, kick up, lean forward...

"THAT'S HALF WAY."

How is it only half way, please don't pop knee, please don't pop! Forward, forward and oh UH OH!

One last pop up before I fall...up up up. 

and I fall out.

Breath in, slow it down.  Breathe in one, two, three, four, five, six

out for six slow slow slow.

"And release, now for the other side."

And repeated on each side after that.  I can't do, Yes I can, I can I can I can I can. 

And I do, every time.  

Sometimes really well, other times not so gracefully. 

Even when I think I can't, I do.

(and man do I feel less hypocritical telling my students to not say "I can't!")